like a sledgehammer to my ears

Please go listen to this. It is horrifying. And something for you all to think about...my cousin michael hates all michael jackson's music but has every paris and lindsay lohan album. and not in an ironic way. he is from canada...but is that really an excuse.
http://www.kiisfm.com/pages/paris/

beer thief

Now you know as well as i do when you go to a party you bring yourself some liquor and expect other people to drink some of it. But seriously, when I arrive at the party and put the beer in the cooler, go to the bathroom, and come back to get one only to find every last one is already gone...you sir are an ass.

on a side note, i love paula deen. It makes me miss georgia, and i never thought i would. And for the record, Bernie's Bistro does not have good fried chicken. fried chicken without bones in is an abomination.

best line from the million cover letters i read today

Culture, race, and language can be dividing, but the humanity in all of us is ever present and aching to be acknowledged and respected.

Puke!

best line overheard today

Are you ready to kick ass for mother earth! Screamed by one of those lovely PIRG volunteers.

why do I suck at slap jack

I was out with friends last night. we went to a bar, as you do...and dorkily played cards all night. ERF or slap jack is the most addictive game I have ever played, and I couldn't be worse at it. It seems like a basic concept...slap the jacks. I never even came close to getting one. Once I did slap at it, of course the other two peeps had already both slapped and removed the cards. I slapped an empty table people! speed and accuracy apparently not my forte.

what?!?!?!

I ate vagina brittle, and didn't get the damn job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

interview...and if you are sensitive don't read

it has been a while! So I finally had my interview. I arrive a little early. I go into the bathroom. There are 2 stalls and 2 sinks. This is important. As I am TCB someone else comes in and occupies the other stall. I leave and WASH MY HANDS. As we all do when leaving the bathroom, right? Well, out comes the person interviewing me. She tells me where we are meeting and leaves. Yep, that is right, no washing. Gross. So I go in and she offers me peanut brittle...which I love and can't say no to. Do I say sure...no. Do I say I am fine thanks...no. I say I LOVE peanut brittle. And she offers it to me. The piece in her hand. Her right hand. The one that she wiped her cooter with and then didn't wash. The one that is now infesting the peanut brittle in my hands. And I am in an interview...and I ate it. I have pussy in my stomach and I hate myself.

I better get this damn job.